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Yes, that's right. I've got a Woody. Woody, the new WOODEN JOYSTICK for your Atari Jaguar!

I received complaints about the UMHJC that it looked too professional. Jaguar users want a joystick that looks home-made, and doggone it, Woody is it! Made of the finest cardboard a McDonald's dumpster offers, it features a fully wooden joystick! Well, it might have some graphite in it too, but that's besides the point. The A, B, and C buttons are made of high quality, carbonation-proof plastic. The option and pause buttons are made from modified Tic-Tacs. This is one fine piece of hardware!

The Woody is the best wooden controller money can buy. Just look at what the critics are saying:

"The BEST controller ever!" -G. Hell
"Flawless." - Grave H.
"Best Woody I've ever had!" - "Gravy"
"Top of the line. Nothing else comes close. Oh, and I like to lick the pause button." - G.H.

See? Everyone agrees! It's available now for only $169.99.
(Note: the keypad buttons do not work. That would have made the controller far too expensive.)


"I Can't Believe I've Got a Woody" is used without permission from Viagra Corp. Buy Viagra. Raise your expectations. Don't let this happen to you.