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I am sad to announce the demise of the SuperDuper JagController. (tm) I took it to school on the last day to show everybody, but someone stole it while a couple freshmen were beating me up. I think it was a senior who always hums Iron Soldier II music and dances. So I am proud to announce the UltraMegaHyperJagController.

With the UMHJC, you can now use three overlays at once! Play AvP without ever having to switch overlays again! The extra keypad keys can also be used to type in your name on the high score of our upcoming game DeadCow 1. It also has slow motion and rapid fire. And even a panic button! There is a reset button so that you never have to press * and # again, and it is near the B and A buttons for your convenience. The controller fits comfortably in your hands, weighing in at only 5 pounds, and is only 18 inches long. Only 199.95, order today!